Some Perspective.

Although we* all have our different ways of dealing with things, when experiencing a difficult emotional ordeal, the same basic healing steps/feelings/emotions exist. Some might deal with them better (or worse) than others, some might push them aside for the time being (although they will surely arise later down the road) and we all run on a different time-line during the process, but the fact is, it is hard, even debilitating at times, to get through it.

I've noticed that difficult periods typically force people to reflect on themselves... the good, the bad and the ugly. But more than anything, the bad and ugly are what we often focus on (at least at the beginning of the healing process). We are probably harder on ourselves than ever, even though this is the time to be compassionate. In addition to the inner turmoil we are already experiencing, our self-esteem and confidence takes a blow. No wonder it's so hard to bounce back!

One of my not-so-good qualities that I have been forced to face is my tendency to dwell... and if you've read my previous posts, this fits right in with my inability to let-go, and not live in the present. If something is bothering me, it plays over and over again in my head and drives me nuts at times. This forces me to constantly relive the pain I am feeling, and not enjoy all the lovely things and people around me to their fullest.

However, I am taking this opportunity to try to shift my mindset. When I start to dwell and get lost in thoughts, I am beginning to work on simply acknowledging it, and shifting my head instead to the positives in my life and the potential of what the future holds. While I don't want to rely on dreams of a future that may or may not happen, at this point, it's good for me to concentrate on this rather than dwelling in past and present situations.

That being said, I am going to list a few things that I am grateful for and things I have to look forward to as a little reminder for me when my mind starts to slip.

-My AMAZING friends! I know I've said it before, but they have really been coming through for me when I need it the most. They have been there to comfort me, listen to the same things over and over again, cheer me up, make me laugh, offer advice... even just giving me their company... whatever it is I need. It seems like just when I need it most someone reminds me that I have things to offer the world, that I mean something to them, that I am important and loved... and BEING loved is just as important as loving, so that is extremely comforting to know! I really am amazed by them every day, and can only dream that I'll have the opportunity to return the favor to them in their times of need.

-My cooler-than-ever family. Even though they live far away and we don't talk nearly enough, thinking of them makes me happy. My mom is there for me whenever I need it, my brothers and sisters make me laugh, my nieces and nephews bring smiles to my face. They love me unconditionally, as I do them, and I am one fortunate lady.

-New friends- Lots of unexpected people have come forward to offer support (sometimes they need a little too) and offer perspective. Sometimes good things DO come out of bad situations!

-Future prospects! From farming to the peace corp, I have some exciting things brewing that will be super awesome and change my life. :)

-Sometimes bad things happen so better things can come along, as a wise man told me. So perhaps this rough patch is meant so I CAN experience better things. Hurray to that!

And by the way, this doesn't mean I never enjoy the time with my friends... just that I have periods of dwelling, more often when I'm alone with my thoughts. Today, for example was a really awesome day with really great people, filled with laughs and love, that helped to bring a little perspective...

You know, things aren't really all that bad after all. I have friends. I'm alive. I will survive.





(* Note: By "we", I obviously mean, "I," in this case. I am simply making an assumption that a lot of people experience similar feelings in these types of situations.)